1 2

Old As The Mud Still Here Unisex T-Shirt

Old As The Mud Still Here Unisex T-Shirt

Color: Black
Size
$34.95
$49.95 $34.95
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

🐔 Buy 2, save 10% automatically. Mix and match any shirts.
  • Premium Tees
  • Free Returns
  • Fast Shipping

🐢 Old As The Mud. Still Here.

This turtle has seen things. He was here before the pond had a name. He's outlasted droughts, hard winters, and every creature that ever thought it was faster or stronger or smarter than a thing that just refuses to quit.

He's so old the moss has moved in. Grass grows on his back now. He doesn't mind. He's not in a hurry — he's never been in a hurry — and that, it turns out, was the whole strategy.

Some people are built the same way. Not flashy. Not fast. Just durable. Still showing up, still standing, long after the ones who counted them out have moved on.

This shirt is for the survivors and the slow-and-steady — homesteaders, country folks, and anyone who's been through a few hard seasons and is, against all odds and a few opinions, still here.

Premium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Heritage illustration printed in the USA. The kind of shirt that earns a knowing nod from someone who's outlasted a few things too.

Member since it got out of hand. 🐔

Product Details

  • 100% ring-spun cotton
  • Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²) — heavyweight, structured
  • Garment-dyed for that lived-in feel
  • Relaxed unisex fit, runs true to size
  • 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
  • Twill-taped neck and shoulders for durability
  • Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
  • Blank product sourced from Honduras

Washing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt

  • Cold water only (the turtle's been through worse, but the shirt hasn't)
  • Turn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)
  • Use a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way
  • First wash may bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious
  • Tumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = the slow-and-steady way)

Shipping & Returns

Free shipping on orders over $85. Orders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full refund policy for details.

View full details

YEAH, WE'RE A CHICKEN BRAND. WITH STANDARDS. SEE WHAT WE MEAN BELOW.

What you're actually getting

Soft, durable cotton tees that get better with every wash. Not another scratchy polyester blend that dies before molting season.

Questions about our society?

Where are you located?

The Chicken Math Society is a US-based company. We print our shirts right here in the USA, like every chicken-loving small business should.

Will I get a tracking number for my order?

Yes — once your order ships, you'll get a tracking email so you can follow your package on its way to the coop. Track it obsessively or forget about it completely. Both are valid.

What size would fit me best?

We know sizing can be tricky, especially in a unisex tee. Every product page has a size chart — and if you're still unsure, just email us at chickenmathsociety@gmail.com. Real humans, real answers.

What materials are your products made of?

Premium 100% ring-spun garment-dyed cotton (Comfort Colors®). Soft from day one, softer after every wash, built to outlast your next coop expansion.

Do you actually keep chickens?

Yes. Too many. We're aware.

What if I'm not a chicken keeper but I think this is funny?

Honorary membership granted upon checkout. We don't gatekeep.

Do you offer wholesale or bulk discounts?

For coop tours, chicken Facebook groups, or your fellow members — yes. Email us at chickenmathsociety@gmail.com.

Why is your free shipping threshold $85 instead of $50?

Because shipping isn't free for us either. $85 covers two tees and gets your gift-buying done in one shot.

What's "chicken math"?

The inexplicable phenomenon by which a backyard chicken keeper begins with three hens and ends the season with seventeen, two ducks, and a coop addition. We named the brand after it.

Comfort for the slow-and-steady

Whether you're collecting eggs at sunrise or watching the flock at sunset, our tees are designed for chicken people who value quality, comfort, and a little dry humor. Join The Chicken Math Society and wear something that fits the life you've actually built.

Customer service that doesn't ghost

Got a question or need help? Real humans are here to make sure you have the best experience — like a trusted coop neighbor who actually picks up the phone.