🐄 I Talk To My Animals And They Listen.

The cow doesn't interrupt. The hen doesn't try to relate it back to her own life. The goat doesn't check her phone halfway through. The dog just sits and looks at you like you're the most interesting thing she's heard all day.

That's a higher bar than most humans clear.

This shirt is for the people who've made their peace with being a little bit quieter, a little bit further out, a little bit more comfortable in the barn than in the breakroom. The ones who'd rather spend Saturday with the flock than with the friend group.

For homesteaders, farm folks, cattle people, goat keepers, hen wranglers, dog people, and anyone whose closest companions don't speak English.

Premium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Heritage illustration printed in the USA. The kind of shirt your family will see and nod knowingly.

Member since it got out of hand. 🐔

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Product Details

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²) — heavyweight, structured
• Garment-dyed for that lived-in feel
• Relaxed unisex fit, runs true to size
• 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for durability
• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
• Blank product sourced from Honduras

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Washing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt

• Cold water only (hot water is for people who count their hens correctly)
• Turn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)
• Use a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way
• First wash might bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious
• Tumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = more time with the flock)

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Shipping & Returns

Free shipping on orders over $85. Orders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full refund policy for details.