{"product_id":"the-outlaw-unisex-t-shirt","title":"The Outlaw Unisex T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e🍅 \u003cstrong\u003eThe Outlaw.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe was last seen leaving the garden shortly after dusk with a tomato and zero remorse. The bandana suggests planning. The expression suggests it wasn't his first job. Witnesses describe him as approximately one foot tall, alarmingly self-assured, and \"weirdly hard to be mad at, actually.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eCharges include: trespassing, theft of one heirloom tomato, and looking at the gardener directly while doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the homesteaders, gardeners, and country folks who've been on the receiving end of small-time wildlife crime and somehow ended up rooting for the criminal. The opossum did it. He'd do it again. He has, in fact, already done it again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePremium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Heritage illustration printed in the USA. The kind of shirt that earns an immediate laugh from anyone who's ever lost produce to the local wildlife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMember since it got out of hand.\u003c\/em\u003e 🐔\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²) — heavyweight, structured\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed for that lived-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTwill-taped neck and shoulders for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eDouble-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWashing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eCold water only (he prefers it that way — fewer witnesses)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTurn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eUse a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFirst wash may bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = harder for him to steal again)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOrders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for details.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chicken Math Society","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":51243182096690,"sku":"6799251_15114","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":51243182129458,"sku":"6799251_15115","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":51243182162226,"sku":"6799251_15116","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":51243182194994,"sku":"6799251_15117","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":51243182227762,"sku":"6799251_15118","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":51243182260530,"sku":"6799251_16326","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Berry \/ 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