{"product_id":"the-original-alarm-clock-unisex-t-shirt","title":"The Original Alarm Clock Unisex T-shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e🐓 \u003cstrong\u003eNo Snooze Button. 4:47 AM. Every Day.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe rooster has one job. He's been doing it since before alarm clocks were invented, and he doesn't care if you went to bed at midnight, slept through the storm, or have a meeting at noon. He starts at 4:47 sharp. Sometimes 4:23. Never 6:00 like a civilized creature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the people who've cursed at a rooster, then fed him anyway, then quietly admitted he's the most reliable thing on the property.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor homesteaders, farm folks, chicken keepers, and anyone who hasn't slept past sunrise since they got their first rooster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePremium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Bold heritage illustration printed in the USA. The kind of shirt that earns immediate knowing nods from anyone who's lived with poultry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMember since it got out of hand.\u003c\/em\u003e 🐔\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²) — heavyweight, structured\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed for that lived-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTwill-taped neck and shoulders for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eDouble-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWashing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eCold water only (hot water is for people who count their hens correctly)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTurn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eUse a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFirst wash might bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = more time with the flock)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping on orders over $85. Orders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for details.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chicken Math Society","offers":[{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":51122362450226,"sku":"5686658_15176","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":51122362482994,"sku":"5686658_15177","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":51122362515762,"sku":"5686658_15178","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":51122362548530,"sku":"5686658_15179","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":51122362581298,"sku":"5686658_15180","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":51122362614066,"sku":"5686658_16330","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ S","offer_id":51122362646834,"sku":"5686658_17655","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ M","offer_id":51122362679602,"sku":"5686658_17656","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ L","offer_id":51122362712370,"sku":"5686658_17657","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ XL","offer_id":51122362745138,"sku":"5686658_17658","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ 2XL","offer_id":51122362777906,"sku":"5686658_17659","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Granite \/ 3XL","offer_id":51122362810674,"sku":"5686658_17660","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ S","offer_id":51122362843442,"sku":"5686658_21534","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ M","offer_id":51122362876210,"sku":"5686658_21535","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ L","offer_id":51122362908978,"sku":"5686658_21536","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ XL","offer_id":51122362941746,"sku":"5686658_21537","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 2XL","offer_id":51122362974514,"sku":"5686658_21538","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 3XL","offer_id":51122363007282,"sku":"5686658_21539","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ S","offer_id":51122363040050,"sku":"5686658_15166","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ M","offer_id":51122363072818,"sku":"5686658_15167","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ L","offer_id":51122363105586,"sku":"5686658_15168","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ XL","offer_id":51122363138354,"sku":"5686658_15169","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 2XL","offer_id":51122363171122,"sku":"5686658_15170","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 3XL","offer_id":51122363203890,"sku":"5686658_16328","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":51122363236658,"sku":"5686658_16523","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ M","offer_id":51122363269426,"sku":"5686658_16524","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":51122363302194,"sku":"5686658_16525","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":51122363334962,"sku":"5686658_16526","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":51122363367730,"sku":"5686658_16527","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":51122363400498,"sku":"5686658_16528","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0980\/4388\/7922\/files\/Butter_77a6476b-808b-4740-bada-7737f12e4b1a.png?v=1777839542","url":"https:\/\/chickenmathsociety.com\/products\/the-original-alarm-clock-unisex-t-shirt","provider":"Chicken Math Society","version":"1.0","type":"link"}