{"product_id":"remember-no-one-is-perfect-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Remember No One Is Perfect Unisex T-shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e🫏 \u003cstrong\u003eEveryone's Ass Has A Crack In It.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a fact. It's anatomy. It's also a joke that's been making people snort-laugh for about 200 years. You either get it immediately or someone has to explain it — and the people who get it are the people you want to spend time with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the dad-joke crowd, the dry-humor enthusiasts, and anyone whose sense of humor leans more \"tractor pull\" than \"TED talk.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor homesteaders, farm folks, donkey owners, chicken keepers, country folks, and anyone who's ever made the same joke at a family cookout and laughed at themselves doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePremium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Heritage donkey illustration printed in the USA. The kind of shirt that gets a snort from your father-in-law, a head-shake from your wife, and a high-five from a stranger at the gas station.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMember since it got out of hand.\u003c\/em\u003e 🐔\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²) — heavyweight, structured\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed for that lived-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTwill-taped neck and shoulders for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eDouble-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWashing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eCold water only (hot water is for people who count their hens correctly)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTurn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eUse a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFirst wash might bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = more time with the flock)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping on orders over $85. Orders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for details.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chicken Math Society","offers":[{"title":"Watermelon \/ S","offer_id":51150418706738,"sku":"7659489_15191","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ M","offer_id":51150418739506,"sku":"7659489_15192","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ L","offer_id":51150418772274,"sku":"7659489_15193","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ XL","offer_id":51150418805042,"sku":"7659489_15194","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ 2XL","offer_id":51150418837810,"sku":"7659489_15195","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ 3XL","offer_id":51150418870578,"sku":"7659489_16334","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ S","offer_id":51150418903346,"sku":"7659489_21534","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ M","offer_id":51150418936114,"sku":"7659489_21535","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ L","offer_id":51150418968882,"sku":"7659489_21536","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ XL","offer_id":51150419001650,"sku":"7659489_21537","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 2XL","offer_id":51150419034418,"sku":"7659489_21538","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ 3XL","offer_id":51150419067186,"sku":"7659489_21539","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":51150419099954,"sku":"7659489_17707","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":51150419132722,"sku":"7659489_17708","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":51150419165490,"sku":"7659489_17709","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":51150419198258,"sku":"7659489_17710","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":51150419231026,"sku":"7659489_17711","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 3XL","offer_id":51150419263794,"sku":"7659489_17712","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ S","offer_id":51150419296562,"sku":"7659489_16541","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ M","offer_id":51150419329330,"sku":"7659489_16542","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ L","offer_id":51150419362098,"sku":"7659489_16543","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ XL","offer_id":51150419394866,"sku":"7659489_16544","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ 2XL","offer_id":51150419427634,"sku":"7659489_16545","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ 3XL","offer_id":51150419460402,"sku":"7659489_16546","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":51150419493170,"sku":"7659489_16523","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ M","offer_id":51150419525938,"sku":"7659489_16524","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":51150419558706,"sku":"7659489_16525","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":51150419591474,"sku":"7659489_16526","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":51150419624242,"sku":"7659489_16527","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":51150419657010,"sku":"7659489_16528","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0980\/4388\/7922\/files\/Watermelon_30f8c4eb-8209-4909-9313-368921a925d0.png?v=1778612008","url":"https:\/\/chickenmathsociety.com\/products\/remember-no-one-is-perfect-unisex-t-shirt","provider":"Chicken Math Society","version":"1.0","type":"link"}