{"product_id":"playing-dead-is-my-coping-mechanism-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Playing Dead Is My Coping Mechanism Unisex T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e🦝 \u003cstrong\u003ePlaying Dead Is My Coping Mechanism.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe opossum has it figured out. When the world becomes too much, you just... stop. Hit the floor. Eyes closed. Tongue out. Maybe they'll go away. Maybe they'll forget you were ever there. Worst case, you take a little nap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eIt's not a flaw. It's a strategy that's worked for 70 million years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the introverts, the overstimulated, the people who'd rather disappear than explain themselves at another work happy hour. For anyone whose nervous system has voted \"no\" on whatever's happening next.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor homesteaders, country folks, late-stage everything-is-too-much millennials, and anyone who learned that the opossum was actually the smartest one in the forest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePremium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Heritage illustration printed in the USA. The kind of shirt that gets quiet recognition from strangers who feel the same way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMember since it got out of hand.\u003c\/em\u003e 🐔\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²) — heavyweight, structured\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed for that lived-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTwill-taped neck and shoulders for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eDouble-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWashing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eCold water only (hot water is for people who count their hens correctly)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTurn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eUse a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFirst wash might bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = more time with the flock)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping on orders over $85. Orders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for details.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chicken Math Society","offers":[{"title":"Sage \/ S","offer_id":51158718054706,"sku":"1356298_21562","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sage \/ M","offer_id":51158718087474,"sku":"1356298_21563","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sage \/ L","offer_id":51158718120242,"sku":"1356298_21564","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sage \/ XL","offer_id":51158718153010,"sku":"1356298_21565","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sage \/ 2XL","offer_id":51158718185778,"sku":"1356298_21566","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sage \/ 3XL","offer_id":51158718218546,"sku":"1356298_21567","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ S","offer_id":51158718251314,"sku":"1356298_21243","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ M","offer_id":51158718284082,"sku":"1356298_21244","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ L","offer_id":51158718316850,"sku":"1356298_21245","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ XL","offer_id":51158718349618,"sku":"1356298_21246","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 2XL","offer_id":51158718382386,"sku":"1356298_21247","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 3XL","offer_id":51158718415154,"sku":"1356298_21248","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ S","offer_id":51158718447922,"sku":"1356298_15191","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ M","offer_id":51158718480690,"sku":"1356298_15192","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ L","offer_id":51158718513458,"sku":"1356298_15193","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ XL","offer_id":51158718546226,"sku":"1356298_15194","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ 2XL","offer_id":51158718578994,"sku":"1356298_15195","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Watermelon \/ 3XL","offer_id":51158718611762,"sku":"1356298_16334","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ S","offer_id":51158718644530,"sku":"1356298_17662","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ M","offer_id":51158718677298,"sku":"1356298_17663","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ L","offer_id":51158718710066,"sku":"1356298_17664","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ XL","offer_id":51158718742834,"sku":"1356298_17665","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ 2XL","offer_id":51158718775602,"sku":"1356298_17666","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Terracotta \/ 3XL","offer_id":51158718808370,"sku":"1356298_17667","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":51158718841138,"sku":"1356298_17707","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":51158718873906,"sku":"1356298_17708","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":51158718906674,"sku":"1356298_17709","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":51158718939442,"sku":"1356298_17710","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":51158718972210,"sku":"1356298_17711","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 3XL","offer_id":51158719004978,"sku":"1356298_17712","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0980\/4388\/7922\/files\/Sage_6c32571e-f884-44a2-86de-7adfa74d27a1.png?v=1778789143","url":"https:\/\/chickenmathsociety.com\/products\/playing-dead-is-my-coping-mechanism-unisex-t-shirt","provider":"Chicken Math Society","version":"1.0","type":"link"}