{"product_id":"not-before-coffee-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Not Before Coffee Unisex T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e☕ \u003cstrong\u003eNot Before Coffee.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe eyes are barely open. The wings are barely committed. Conversation is not on the table. The coffee, however, is — and until that mug is empty, the chicken is not running, ruling, laying, or otherwise operating in any official capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eDon't try to discuss anything important. Don't bring up the fence. Don't ask what the plan is. The plan is coffee. The plan was always coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the morning-grumpy — chicken keepers, homesteaders, and country folks who'd rather skip breakfast than skip the first cup. Some people are morning people. The rest of us are working on it, one mug at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePremium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Heritage cartoon design printed in the USA. The kind of shirt that earns a knowing groan from anyone who's also not before coffee, ever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMember since it got out of hand.\u003c\/em\u003e 🐔\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²) — heavyweight, structured\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed for that lived-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTwill-taped neck and shoulders for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eDouble-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWashing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eCold water only (hot water doesn't go in clothes, it goes in mugs)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTurn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eUse a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFirst wash may bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = a chance to drink another cup)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOrders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for details.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chicken Math Society","offers":[{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ S","offer_id":51249380131122,"sku":"9127063_21513","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ M","offer_id":51249380163890,"sku":"9127063_21514","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ L","offer_id":51249380196658,"sku":"9127063_21515","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ XL","offer_id":51249380229426,"sku":"9127063_21516","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ 2XL","offer_id":51249380262194,"sku":"9127063_21517","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ 3XL","offer_id":51249380294962,"sku":"9127063_21518","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ S","offer_id":51249379541298,"sku":"9127063_17700","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ M","offer_id":51249379574066,"sku":"9127063_17701","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ L","offer_id":51249379606834,"sku":"9127063_17703","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ XL","offer_id":51249379639602,"sku":"9127063_17702","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ 2XL","offer_id":51249379672370,"sku":"9127063_17704","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ 3XL","offer_id":51249379705138,"sku":"9127063_17705","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Denim \/ S","offer_id":51249379737906,"sku":"9127063_21506","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Denim \/ M","offer_id":51249379770674,"sku":"9127063_21507","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Denim \/ L","offer_id":51249379803442,"sku":"9127063_21508","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Denim \/ XL","offer_id":51249379836210,"sku":"9127063_21509","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Denim \/ 2XL","offer_id":51249379868978,"sku":"9127063_21510","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Denim \/ 3XL","offer_id":51249379901746,"sku":"9127063_21511","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":51249379934514,"sku":"9127063_17707","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":51249379967282,"sku":"9127063_17708","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":51249380000050,"sku":"9127063_17709","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":51249380032818,"sku":"9127063_17710","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":51249380065586,"sku":"9127063_17711","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 3XL","offer_id":51249380098354,"sku":"9127063_17712","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":51249380327730,"sku":"9127063_16523","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ M","offer_id":51249380360498,"sku":"9127063_16524","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":51249380393266,"sku":"9127063_16525","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":51249380426034,"sku":"9127063_16526","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":51249380458802,"sku":"9127063_16527","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":51249380491570,"sku":"9127063_16528","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0980\/4388\/7922\/files\/ChalkyMint_2ee3d63a-6805-412b-b9d0-9c84f0402ff8.png?v=1780434211","url":"https:\/\/chickenmathsociety.com\/products\/not-before-coffee-unisex-t-shirt","provider":"Chicken Math Society","version":"1.0","type":"link"}