{"product_id":"emotionally-unavailable-highland-cow-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Emotionally Unavailable Highland Cow Unisex T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e🌼 \u003cstrong\u003eHe's Emotionally Unavailable.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHe's gorgeous. He's mysterious. He's got the hair, the sad eyes, the daisy tucked behind one ear like he just wandered out of a folk album cover. He won't return your calls. He won't tell you what he's thinking. He's been through some things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eAnd honestly? You'd date him anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the people who romanticize emotionally unavailable men, fictional characters with brooding backstories, and any large mammal that gives off main character energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFor Highland cow lovers, cottagecore enthusiasts, country folks with a sense of humor, and anyone who's ever pointed at a shaggy cow and said \u003cem\u003e\"that's literally me.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePremium garment-dyed Comfort Colors cotton — soft from day one, softer with every wash. Hand-illustrated watercolor design printed in the USA. The kind of shirt that gets immediate stops at coffee shops, farmers markets, and anywhere people appreciate a good visual gag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMember since it got out of hand.\u003c\/em\u003e 🐔\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²) — heavyweight, structured\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed for that lived-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eRelaxed unisex fit, runs true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTwill-taped neck and shoulders for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eDouble-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eBlank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWashing Instructions: How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eCold water only (hot water is for people who count their hens correctly)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTurn inside out before washing (the graphic deserves protection)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eUse a gentle detergent — this garment-dyed cotton is easygoing, keep it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eFirst wash might bleed a little, so separate it from anything precious\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry (hang drying = more time with the flock)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003chr\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping on orders over $85. Orders ship within 5-7 business days. Made-to-order, so returns are accepted for defective or damaged items only — see our full \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for details.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Chicken Math Society","offers":[{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":51155510264114,"sku":"3329883_17707","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":51155510296882,"sku":"3329883_17708","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":51155510329650,"sku":"3329883_17709","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":51155510362418,"sku":"3329883_17710","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":51155510395186,"sku":"3329883_17711","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 3XL","offer_id":51155510427954,"sku":"3329883_17712","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ S","offer_id":51155510460722,"sku":"3329883_16541","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ M","offer_id":51155510493490,"sku":"3329883_16542","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ L","offer_id":51155510526258,"sku":"3329883_16543","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ XL","offer_id":51155510559026,"sku":"3329883_16544","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ 2XL","offer_id":51155510591794,"sku":"3329883_16545","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blossom \/ 3XL","offer_id":51155510624562,"sku":"3329883_16546","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ S","offer_id":51155510657330,"sku":"3329883_15166","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ M","offer_id":51155510690098,"sku":"3329883_15167","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ L","offer_id":51155510722866,"sku":"3329883_15168","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ XL","offer_id":51155510755634,"sku":"3329883_15169","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 2XL","offer_id":51155510788402,"sku":"3329883_15170","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 3XL","offer_id":51155510821170,"sku":"3329883_16328","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":51155510853938,"sku":"3329883_17648","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":51155510886706,"sku":"3329883_17649","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ L","offer_id":51155510919474,"sku":"3329883_17650","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":51155510952242,"sku":"3329883_17651","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":51155510985010,"sku":"3329883_17652","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 3XL","offer_id":51155511017778,"sku":"3329883_17653","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":51155511050546,"sku":"3329883_16523","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ M","offer_id":51155511083314,"sku":"3329883_16524","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":51155511116082,"sku":"3329883_16525","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":51155511148850,"sku":"3329883_16526","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":51155511181618,"sku":"3329883_16527","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":51155511214386,"sku":"3329883_16528","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0980\/4388\/7922\/files\/Bay_8e3dac81-6975-43ce-9ca6-b6431340cfab.png?v=1778713039","url":"https:\/\/chickenmathsociety.com\/products\/emotionally-unavailable-highland-cow-unisex-t-shirt","provider":"Chicken Math Society","version":"1.0","type":"link"}